by Brenda Wisniewski on 06/12/13
We all do it. Try and control our lives, especially the future. We plan for it, we make decisions based on it and we try and control it. Why? Because we think we can control it. I think at some level we all know we cannot control the future, but I also think on some level we all believe that we can to some extent. We definitely try to and we definitely do NOT like feeling out of control. Why is that?
I think it's because we're so caught up in our own personal agenda, our own vision for our lives, that we cannot trust that if we let go, even for just a moment that we just might be okay. We won't die. I know it's very scary to let go of controlling your life. I've done it. I decided a while ago to stop trying to make things happen and instead to go with the flow. I was sick and tired, literally exhausted, of trying to micro manage everything from my work to my family and personal life. I had no energy left for anything fun. Even when I made plans with friends to have fun I found myself tired.
It's because trying to control everything is an energy drain. It zaps the life out of you. Why? Because there's no freedom in it. There's no flowing. Instead of going with the flow and being free we are constricted by our own rules and to-dos and forced into a plan, a structure that causes us stress.
What would happen if you let go for one day? For just one day, let go of your to-do list, let go of telling your staff, your children, your spouse what to do, let go of trying to manipulate the day to go your way and instead trust that whatever needs to get done will get done and whatever doesn't get done wasn't meant to get done and allow it all to be okay. Just go with the flow of the day, listening and following your heart, allowing yourself to act because you're inspired not because you have to or feel you should do something. Even at work, follow your heart, look at your daily plan and ask yourself if these things are really top priority and if so, why? Is it because someone thinks it should get done or is it something you know in your heart is the right thing to do? There is a difference.
Once you start questioning why it is you do certain things and act in certain ways you'll begin to see that it's either just you trying to control a situation because you're afraid that if you don't it will turn out bad (you don't trust the flow of life) or it's because you're driven by unmet needs to perhaps please others and do things because you think you should versus doing them because it feels right to you.
It's a great practice, letting go of control. When accomplished a whole new world opens to you, one with less stress and more trust. In the end, we really don't know what will happen in the future so why not trust ourselves, trust our heart, that we know what's best for us in this moment, do that and let go of the rest.
Go ahead, give it a try. I'd love to hear how it works for you.
Here's to embracing uncertainty and going with the flow!